Dear Amy,

What exactly was Paul’s thorn anyway, and why does it matter?

There has been much speculation about the nature of Paul’s thorn in the flesh (2 Cor 12:7-9), and of course we do not know. Personally, I doubt it was any disability, of speech or of stature, nor any severe pain to endure. Rather I suspect it was something utterly shameful and humiliating, perhaps something in his own character. Something internal and deeply personal. Why do I think this?

In every other respect, Paul was the elite. Highly educated. Highly disciplined. Highly capable. Zealous. Purging every sin and making every effort to live a right life (Acts 22:3, Phil 3:4-6). These are not attributes that lead to humility! They are more likely to lead to arrogance, to smug self-satisfaction, to a sense of moral superiority. How can such a one be depending completely on the Lord, and be of any use in the Kingdom?

Paul rather was able to live with so much humility and dependence on the Lord because of this (“in order to keep me from becoming conceited”, 2 Cor 12:7), being able to say, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners⸺of whom I am the worst” (1 Tim 1:15). And to live with boldness. Such boldness!

When the shame of my past comes back to haunt me, to crush me, I do not deny it. I must not. The Lord lifts me, welcomes me, saves me, accepts me. Oh how I need him! I am not condemned. But in the rescue and the redemption, all pride is gone. My grateful heart loves the Lord, and seeks to honour him. And so I can live with levels of humility, gentleness and compassion which eluded me previously. The Lord is glorified, and I am diminished. I can die to self, and live for him, holding nothing back. Praise him!

Rejoice in the rescue, Amy, whatever form it takes! 🙏