Dear Amy,

Have you ever wondered why John refers to himself throughout his gospel exclusively as “the disciple whom Jesus loved”?

One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table at Jesus’ side.

― John 13:23

When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!”

― John 19:26

Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. So she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.”

― John 20:1-2

Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them.

― John 21:20

John never refers to himself by name, only ever “the disciple whom Jesus loved”. Why would this be?

Firstly I want to reject the idea that Jesus loved John more than the others. That makes no sense to me, for it would mean he loved the others less, and I find that to be ridiculous. He loved without limit each and every person he encountered, just as he loves each and every one of us. There are no favourites and no less-thans.

Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.

“See how he loved him!”

― John 11:5, 36

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

― John 3:16

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us.

― 1 John 3:16

The other gospel writers make no use of this phrase⸺it is purely how John describes himself. This is surely the clue, that John is acutely aware of quite how loved by Jesus he is. It is not the love that is greater, but his awareness of that love. And that changes everything.

There’s a striking consequence of that level of awareness. John’s gospel has more to say about love than all three of the other gospels combined. And his first letter is all and entirely about love.

We love because he first loved us.

― 1 John 4:19

How John understood this, and how it transformed his writing and his ministry!

What then is our response when we become aware of the boundless nature of this unfathomable love?

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

― John 13:34-35

In whatever situation we find ourselves and whatever the challenge we face, may we hear the kindly voice of the apostle John urging us, “Little children, remember to love”.

So it is simply John’s awareness of Jesus’ great love for him that enables him to describe himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved⸺an observation which has a truly wonderful corollary: each one of us can own such a description for ourselves!

As you continue your ministry in the village, Amy, know that you are the teacher whom Jesus loves, and be transformed by your awareness of that love! 🙏