Dear Amy,

What is the most important thing?

The fruit of the Spirit is love …

― Galatians 5:22

I’ve left this one until last, precisely because it is the most important. Why do I say that? So many reasons, starting with this.

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

― Matthew 22:36-40

And this.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

― John 13:34-35

This is not optional⸺there is absolutely no wriggle room here! And yet, why is it that we do not live like this? For tragically, we do not. We should be living and breathing this, all the time. Nothing matters more. But what exactly are we supposed to do as we go about our lives?

A phrase I came upon recently has really got its hooks into me: relational authenticity. This is surely the starting point. Relational authenticity recognises that the one standing before me is a real person, whoever they may be. A real person with their hopes, dreams, disappointments and hurts, just like me. And the choice which is uniquely mine is whether and how to relate, to accept, to love. How do I regard them? As background noise? A diversion? A duty? Someone to look down upon? Someone to avoid? Or a whole person, with all their value and complexity and brokenness, loved by the Lord, as am I?

But there’s more. Relational authenticity demands radical humility.

There is no difference … for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

― Romans 3:22-24

How this challenges ego! But could we live like this? The prize is glorious!

In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

― Ephesians 2:21-22

As we develop relational authenticity, this is what we will find: all of us, together, a holy temple in the Lord!

Let us not overlook that this is the fruit of the Spirit. We grow in this as the Lord does his work of transforming grace in our lives. In my life. In yours. Softening our hearts, enabling us to love, and making us more like Christ.

Pursue relational authenticity, Amy, and learn to love like Jesus, the most important thing! 🙏